So this last week was pretty great. I think that when getting to know my personality, it is important to learn that I have a great appreciation for the mullet. I feel that when done correctly is the perfect way to say "Hey, I'm here and I have confidence and a sense of humor. Get ready to have a good time." When done incorrectly, it is a great way to say "Hey. I take myself and my redneck lifestyle very seriously. Don't mock me and don't cross me." It's also a great way to say "Hey. I'm here, but I don't think I'm sure where here is, and I don't think I care. I just want a beer." No matter what statement your mullet is making for you, I am positive it is going to come with a great story, which is really what I live for. So I respect the mullet. I love the mullet.
Let me start by explaining how my zest for the mullet came to life. I was one day explaining to one of my friends that I was completely ready to embrace a super white-trash future. I was going into great detail about the trailer that I would live in (which I would like to note is a dream I have seen to fruition), all the snot-nosed kids I'd have, and the husband whose main modes of transportation would be a 4-wheeler and a secondhand John Deer lawnmower. The picture I was painting was getting more and more colorful and then I had an epiphany - maybe I should give him a mullet. Now at this time I was 18 and had no idea what my future really held for me. I'd never cut a head of hair in my life and couldn't possibly have guessed that he would actually agree that this was in fact, a fantastic idea.
So I look up some diagrams on the internet, search for the sharpest pair of scissors I could find. Meanwhile, Andrew (my victim) is gathering our friends to watch this event of epic proportions to take place. We gather at our friend Suzy's house and commence with the cutting. Let us take a moment to pay some respects to the phenomenal head of hair Andrew has. It is a deep mahogony red, thick as the day is long, and just the perfect amount of wave. He has about the best locks I have ever laid eyes on. So naturally, with each snip of the shears, I am feeling more and more in my element. Was I really falling in love with a head of hair? Dare I say, yes. Yes I was. I followed the diagram which instructed me to cut the perimiter. It was like courting. Then I advanced to setting the length on his top and sides, this was a commitment. Then the blending. Blending can be so tedious and you want to give up, but you can't. For if you throw in the towel too early, you never see how glorious the rest of your work is, and you are left with a mess. Truly, this, my first ever haircut, solidified my love for the one. The only. The mullet.
I then proceeded to enroll in beauty school. I trimmed Andres mullet and I cut his brother one, but it was not enough. I needed 40 hours per week to have the chance of cutting another. Like a Grizzly with a taste for human blood, I thirsted for more mullet. Every mullet was better than the last and after 5 years, I can boss a mullet like nobodies business.
So fast forward to last week. It starts with a group of boys coming in to the shop announcing that they are Maulers (our local hockey team) and it is a playoff weekend. I flashed back to 2 years ago when a team of Canadians came for hockey playoffs, and I giggles with glee. Hockey understands my passion for a mullet. Hockey and mullets go together like peanut butter and jelly. So I do a few of the Maulers, one of whom came in the next day and asked for me specifically, stating that his friend had called me the "mullet master". And in this same week, my recurring mullet clients came in and a couple randos, just needing ther mullet trimmed. This last group happened to include a 2 year old boy. His mother just couldn't part with the cascading curls down his back, but really needed the rest out of his eyes and off his ears. I did mullets with steps carved into the sides, mullets that feathered back, and mullets that spiked on the top. It was mullet mania I tell you, and I couldn't have had a better week at work if I had tried.
